I'm gonna have a badass scar
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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