i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
