Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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