Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
