Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
