I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
