i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
