Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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