U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
