Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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