i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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