He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
