it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
