I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
