More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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