It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
