Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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