Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
