My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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