We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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