i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my being single is dangerous.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
