Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im part way to drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
