Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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