Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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