that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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