oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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