Cold hands, warm shart.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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