when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
