And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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