i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
