everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
