2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
