Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize