Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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