STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
