I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
