He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The air taste purple.
Randomize
