It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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