I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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