So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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