just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize