I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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