A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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