I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
