I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize