i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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