Cold hands, warm shart.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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