...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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