We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
