Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
