the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
