Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
