i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize