thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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