Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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