I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
