So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
