Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
